Guest Post: Hilarious Bad Date Story!

9 Jul

While I’m enjoying the Florida sun with my parents on their last day with me, Paula has so graciously accepted to write a guest post on something I’ve been so reluctant to write about myself for fear that one of my past flings might read it. Thank you, Paula!


Hi Everyone!

My name is Paula and I blog over at Eat: Watch: Run. This is me!

Andrea was kind enough to let me share one of my dating stories with you while she sits back, drinks margaritas, and gets fanned by a tan, overly muscular man, so let’s get to it.

I was never much of a dater, but more of a long term relationship kind of girl. That means that when I did date, I didn’t really know what I was doing, or what was right or wrong. Also, I don’t think I was more than 22 at the time. Nonetheless, I am pretty sure this fits in the wrong category.

My friend Tania and I would often go out drinking on the weekends. Tania is short, thin, and cute and always got all the attention from the guys when we went out together. This is me and Tania right after I got married (2 years ago):

One night, we were out at a tiki-type bar downtown called The Lemon Coast. We started talking to two guys there, and I was a little excited that one of the guys seemed interested in me. That doesn’t happen much when you are 7 inches taller and 50lbs heavier than your cute friend. His name was Eugene.

Eugene was wearing a hat the whole night. < —- remember that. We chatted at the bar for awhile and even went to another bar, which may or may not have been a strip club, to play pool. Toward the end of the night, I gave Eugene my phone number and we set up a date.

Eugene and I met at Applebees, which is where all the hot dates go down. I walked in on time, scanned the restaurant a few times, and couldn’t find him anywhere. I decided to stand at the front door and wait. That’s when someone at the bar turned around with a drink in hand, and I realized it was him.

No hat this time.

We got our table, I’m sure there was some chatting, but I only remember ordering the “N’Awlins Skillet” and eating the whole thing. This was before I realized you need to order a salad, eat 2 croutons, have a sip of water, and say you’re full. This was also before I realized food had calories. But that’s another story.

After dinner, we walked down the street to a bar called the Blue Parrot. Blue Parrot was one of my favorite pubs – it was small and often had local bands. We sat at a table, ordered a beer, and got to know each other a bit.

Eugene did things like, ask to see my license picture, and then tell me how cute it was that my name is “Paula Anne.” Then he told me about a new CD he bought and how there was one song that he LOVED that I just had to hear. We talked some more, but the conversation would keep coming back to that new song. He told me he wanted to go to his car so he could play me the song. We had just ordered a beer, so I said no because I didn’t want to leave it because they would just throw it out. So, he signals to the bartender, tells her that we will be back, and to please not touch the beers.

Eugene: “Ok. Taken care of. Let’s go listen to that song.”
Me: “Oooook.”

We walk out to his car, he opens the door for me, and we sit inside. Looking back, I never thought about him being a serial killer and murdering me in the car. I think that would have been preferable.

Eugene puts on the song that he’s been dying for me to hear for the last 30 minutes. And that’s when I recognized it. It’s Elvis.

“I can’t help falling in love with you.”

Yeah, so I was not prepared for that. After we listened to the song, I suggested we go back to the bar. We finished our beer and the night was over. He wanted to set up another date, but I was working the night shift all weekend. So I told him I can’t take personal calls at work, but to call me on my cell after the weekend.

He called me that weekend at work. FIVE times.

Oh, I didn’t give him my work number. He got that on his own. So, I think you can guess what happened next.

We got married.


Thanks for listening to my silly story and thanks to Andrea for my first guest post! If you’d like to visit my little side of the Web at Eat: Watch: Run, please do. I’d love to hear from you!

P.S. Just kidding about the married part. I never talked to him again.


I LOVED this story! Go read her blog NOW 😉

If you have a bad date story, I’d love for YOU to be a guest blogger too! Just leave me a little comment!

I promise I’ll be back to blogging regularly any day now!


15 Responses to “Guest Post: Hilarious Bad Date Story!”

  1. Sarah S @RunningOnWords July 9, 2011 at 10:50 am #

    Wow, this is fantastic! I almost fell for the “we got married,” but that seemed a little too crazy. I love your bad date series!

    • Eat:Watch:Run July 9, 2011 at 3:56 pm #

      haha! I considered not putting the “just kidding” in there but I didn’t want everyone to think my husband wore a hair piece. 🙂

  2. hungryhealthyhappy July 9, 2011 at 11:08 am #

    Oh, Paula, you are the best. Laughing out loud through this whole post, as usual.

  3. Kim July 9, 2011 at 11:36 am #

    Paula-I went on a date post high school with a guy we went to high school with that I had had a crush on back in school. I was so excited that he asked me out and I thought it was going to be all magical and romantic. He picked me up and away we went. I don’t really remember the details of the date but what I do remember was that he was B-O-R-I-N-G!!! He had no substance and no personality. We ended going to a party where I met a guy that eventually became my first serious boyfriend. I guess I learned that high school me had horrible judgement in boys.

  4. Angie July 9, 2011 at 12:27 pm #

    Oh Paula…I wonder what ever happened to Eugene? Bless his bald little heart! I bet he got some poor soul to fall for his Elvis song and they lived happily ever after!

  5. Katie G July 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Dear GOD that’s creepy.

    • Eat:Watch:Run July 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm #

      Yes! I’m glad you saw the creepy though the funny. Because it was completely uncomfortable.

  6. Stacie July 9, 2011 at 10:46 pm #

    Fantastic awful date story. What a creeper.

    I have actually never had an awful date. I have, however, had a guy that I just met flat out tell me he wanted to have sex with me. I kid you not. I told him “Don’t flatter yourself” and walked away. After being a biyatch to him, homeboy still called me the next day. Take a hint dude.

    • Eat:Watch:Run July 10, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

      Wow! Total creeper. BUT at least he was honest and you knew you didn’t have to waste your time?

  7. Diana @ VeggieNextDoor July 10, 2011 at 7:42 pm #

    I always love your photo-humor 🙂

    The bald bit is sad. The “I can’t help falling in love” is very creepy. Poor, clueless guy.

    One of my weirdest dates involved a guy playing a song in his car too. He sang along in falsetto, which in my mind was not a good move on a first-date – i wish i could remember the name of the song!

    • Eat:Watch:Run July 11, 2011 at 7:07 pm #

      LOL – I don’t think you need to know the song. My mind is doing all the work on this one. 🙂

  8. Megan@ On the Road Again July 11, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    Ha! Great bad date story from Paula. “Song? or murder by ice pick?” Almost died laughing at that.

    Also, I’m pretty new to your blog, but I’m loving perusing some of your old posts!


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